Second Semester Update
As you can probably tell, I have been MIA the past couple of months, and I apologize for my absence. It is amazing how polar opposite first semester is compared to second semester. For example, I feel like my life is like those stressed out grad memes that are floating across the internet.
To be completely honest, I have been so stressed out that it was hard to compose a weekly blog post without school stress looming over my head. However, while I take a break from my daily mental breakdown, here are the positives and negatives of the past 3 months.
1. Positive- I'm in a Relationship
Yes, if you are an original reader, you may have seen a blog post in regards to a boyfriend in August....well that is an ex now. Anyhow in February, I found a new and improved boyfriend and things have been great. Certainly, it can get stressful balancing school, work, finding an internship, social life, and a boyfriend, but thank God that he is supportive of my dreams and can handle my anxiety.
2. Negative-The Hardships of Finding an Internship.
That's right, originally I had an internship until February 14, when they backed out on me thus leaving me internship-less. I thought no problem, I can totally find an internship. Well, I am completely wrong, I have applied easily to five museums in the past two months and still have not received an internship. It is very frustrating and I'm thinking of writing a blog post about this. If you are interested in this topic, let me know.
3. Positive-I received a second job.
Although I was whining above about not receiving a summer internship, I did receive a job at my school's gallery. I think I briefly mentioned it in an early Instagram post, but I haven't talked about it here. It's an amazing job and I'm doing what I love. I get to apply what I am learning in my master's program and use it in a gallery setting.
4. Negative-The doubts about doing a masters program.
Recently, I have been doubting if I want to continue with the program. It is not a matter of struggling with the classes itself, but I have been having life FOMO. I see my friends on social media being able to go on adventures and earn an ACTUAL INCOME while I'm over here still with no adult job and asking my nana for a raise in my allowance. Also, I feel terrible that I cannot afford a nice meal for my boyfriend. Then, I witness all my friends land internships for the summer while I'm still spending multiple hours a day applying for various internships. There have been multiple calls to my mother and multiple trips to my therapist to discuss the decrease in my self-confidence and the doubts of whether or not I will be successful in my field.
5. Positive- I'm learning what I want to do in life!
Before coming into my program, I was focused on one specific path in life, in fact, that was the whole reason why I joined the program. However, after studying multiple facets of museum studies, I learned that I did not want to be a curator anymore and I wanted to focus on public outreach. If I did not attend graduate school, I would not have discovered my career interests.
Overall, these past three months have been the most frustrating time in my life because of the struggles of being a poor graduate student trying to find the experience. However, I think it has taught me the importance of accepting rejection and coping with jealousy. Life will continue to throw challenges at me, but it is now a matter of whether I will be consumed by the challenge or grow from the experience. What I hope to come for the next couple of months are more good fortunes that I have been lucky to receive and the eagerness to learn from my failures and disappointments.